Relationships Part 2?

So I did a post on relationships a while ago.  However something happened the other day that got my wife and I talking.  A friend of ours was chatting with us and in talking about the holidays let slip that he had met up with some old high school buddies and their wives.  Now all of these people are in their fifties.  The gathering shifted so that the men were in the basement watching the “game” while the women were all upstairs.  One of the men in the basement started complaining that he never got sex anymore because his wife never seemed to be interested in it.  Apparently most of the other men chimed in with similar thoughts.  Our friend looked around the room and thought that virtually all of these men had let themselves go–they were overweight and in many cases somewhat slovenly.  He thought to himself that if he were a woman he wouldn’t want to have sex with any of them either.

This brought my wife and I to a discussion.  We often hear that women need to work to maintain their figures; that marriages break up because the wife let herself go.  And yet in the popular culture, no one speaks about the men.  I work hard to stay in shape and to stay lean.  I do it for myself, but also for my wife.  If I care about her, it is important that I maintain my fitness levels so that I’m attractive to her.  She works hard too–for herself, but also for me.  We maintain our appearances at their optimum so that the attraction we feel for each other doesn’t wane.  We matter to each other.  If my wife gained 70 pounds, she wouldn’t be as attractive to me.  If I gained a 100 pounds, I would not be attractive to my wife.  If our cleanliness wasn’t to standard it would be difficult to expect sex.  If we didn’t worry about our hair, our attraction to each other might also be affected.

So what am I trying to say.  Both members of a couple owe it to the other (and to themselves) to stay fit, clean, and stylish so that the attraction levels stay strong.  This is not just the responsibility of the female in the relationship.  Guys you have work to do too! Beyond maintaining the attraction, you will also be healthier and likely to live a longer life together.  All the best!



  1. I agree with you and see this all the time myself. People tend to get offended or say you are shallow when you lose attraction to a partner that say gains 70 pounds but the physical attraction needed for amazing sex is largely visual/chemical. For me at least.

    Luckily a combination of good genes and the inability to sit still for long make it easy for me to stay in great shape without too much effort, if I don’t do something whether it be hiking, biking or just walking, I start to get irritable and unproductive!

    I personally hate a lot of pubic hair. The 70’s bush seems so icky to me and definitely less sanitary. I prefer to be completely shaven. Not everyone likes it but to each there own. It definitely is one of those weird compatibility issues that doesn’t come up when you first start dating. Maybe people should start putting that on their dating profiles 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • When I met my current wife I asked if she had an wall to wall carpet, shag carpet, an area rug or hardwood floors? She didn’t understands what I was asking so I had to clarify things. But it is important to me. As it turns out she has a “small area rug”. While I do prefer “hardwood floors”, I don’t mind the Brazilian look. lol. We often look back on that conversation and laugh about it. Since I’ve slimmed down, our sex life which was good has become phenomenal! My wife is even more attracted to me and therefore so much more horny. At the same time, she is enjoying the power shift and the ability to decide when, how, and where we have sex. My horniness is always high–particularly since it’s 79 days since my last orgasm. So she likes my obvious desire!! lol


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