How It All Began? or Can You Tell Your Partner Anything?

So at the start of my blog I sort of spoke about how this chastity adventure all started.  And likely a little later I touched on it again, but I’ve been reading some blogs about other blogger’s relationships and thought that I’d speak about mine and add more details about how we started all this.

Sorry if this sounds like a review, but about 2 years ago, my wife and myself entered into a sex shop we visit on occasion.  As we were wandering around, I saw a toy that caught my fancy.  It was a metal cock cage and cost about $100.00.  I called it to her attention, but it was a fair amount of money and wasn’t something we had even thought about before.  Still we had a bit of conversation about it and I admit my interest was piqued.  A few days later, I went to another store and saw the same cage and decided to purchase it.  Frankly I was looking for it or something else similar to it, and the other shop had it on sale.  I didn’t tell my wife about it though, but a few weeks later wore it during a day that we were going to make love.  Her first knowledge of it was when she reached down to grab my penis and discovered this steel cage.  We had a lot of fun that day though I did get out of the cage at some point and I did orgasm, however there was a lot of teasing that went on first and I was very excited about the whole experience.

I did some more explorations and purchased another couple of cages.  Ultimately though I liked the first cage best–still have it somewhere, lol though I haven’t worn it in ages.  My wife couldn’t understand my desire to wear the cage.  I guess I was not really doing a good job of communicating my desires to her.

In some ways this was strange as I had entered this relationship determined to be very open and communicative with her.  I had been in a relationship that wasn’t the best–in particular the sex had been horrid and very infrequent.  So when I met my current wife, I was very open about my desires.  Some were very easy to talk about but some were tough.

I told her fairly early on that I liked to be dominated–and she did dominate me on a regular though infrequent basis.  She found it fairly tiring to be in constant control even if only for a weekend or so.  And yet she also enjoyed it.  She liked to tease me and she enjoyed the love making we had together.  I was the first man to actually give her orgasms and also the first man to cause her to squirt! Our sex life was volcanic!!  Still one of my kinks was/is golden showers.  I don’t know why, but I like to receive them.  This was a difficult thing to tell my wife–at that time girl friend.  Still with my heart in my throat, I told her one day.  She thought about it and then said she would give it a try!

I found that so hot!  Though the first time she tried, she was pee-shy and had some difficulty letting go.  This has gotten better over time and while it isn’t something we do often, she treats me every now and then.  Her reaction to this “news” was not the horror show I had feared, and it helped to build trust between us.  As time went on, we both shared more and more with each other.  Honestly, my wife knows more about me than anyone else I’ve ever met–and I know her too!

Still when I discovered the cage, I was intrigued.  I started to look things up about male chastity.  The internet contains a fabulous wealth of information–some of it good and some intriguing.  lol  I discovered a wide world of male chastity and all sorts of fantasies.  I admit some of the fantasies turned me on, but how to get my wife interested??  And how would she react?  Then I came across a contract.  It was incredibly complete and very long.  The people who had generated it gave me their blessing to use it, and I printed it and saved it.  Over time, I adjusted it so that it would fit us better, and I did the measuring and finally ordering of a Mature Metal Jailbird cage.  Almost 6 weeks to the day, the new cage arrived.  I tried it on and it fit really well.  I had used the other cages I had earlier bought along with their sizing rings to work towards a good fit.  On top of that, I read other blogs and found tips in them and luckily, I got a really great fit the first time.  So now I had a contract and a custom made cage.  I just needed to convince my wife to be my keyholder.  This caused me great angst!  I shouldn’t have been so worried about approaching her, but I think in the back of my mind my ex-wife lives trying to screw me up.

Finally I thought of a plan.  We were going away for a weekend and were going to be in the car together for about 4 hours each way.  I printed the contract and on the way up to where we were going, I gave her the contract and asked her to read it.  She wasn’t in the mood, so it wasn’t until we were returning home that she actually read it (all 25 pages).  As she read it, she paused every now and then to ask me some questions.  Finally she told me she was grateful because she now understood what I was looking for.  She agreed to try it.  The next day, we started what turned out to be a 2.5 month trial contract.  There were some very good moments in those months, and I wanted to continue as soon as that contract ended.  But there were some issues and we needed to speak about them and figure out how to solve them.  That was done and we signed another contract last June.  It has been extended twice and now expires at the end of January 2018.  I’m hopeful that we will extend this again at some point.  To be honest, I think it will be–my Queen is enjoying herself!

One thing that this marriage has taught me is that I can tell my wife anything and she will accept me regardless of what I say.  Sometimes I’m embarrassed or worried about it, but I am always supported.  I don’t think there is anything I could say or do that would cause my wife to leave my side.  I’m not going to hurt anyone or rob anyone and those are likely the only activities that would send her away.

If you can’t trust your partner with your innermost secrets, then you are in the wrong relationship!  You need to be able to talk with–really talk with your partner.  If you can’t…

Oh and btw, my current punishment number is a lowly 10.  My record length days since orgasm is still increasing and is currently 96 days.  Maybe she will make me wait till the new year!  Time will tell.

Finally I would like to thank everyone for reading my posts.  I really appreciate your likes, comments and questions.  Your involvement makes this something fun and worthwhile!


  1. I really enjoyed reading this and I think it will be helpful to others. I totally agree that open communication is vital for a successful relationship and helps to build that trust 😊

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I was further exploring your blog today and found this post…thank you for sharing, collaredmichael! I loved reading about your journey together and I really admire you ability to honestly express what you want. I have been with Daddy for 14 years and am only now, really telling him of my desires. I guess it took me a long time to come to terms with what I wanted…but now that it is out in the open between us, things have been fantastic. In any case… I always enjoy reading your blogs…thanks for posting 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My wife and I are just starting to experiment with the chastity lifestyle. I found your blog and it really speaks to what we are experiencing and helped us talk about what we want out of all this. Do you have a link to an example or template of the contract?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I totally understand. I find I’m learning patience as part of this lifestyle 🙂 Yes, please, if you could remove my address that would be great. I didn’t know of any way to send it to you other than in the comments, but that is less than ideal.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Good to see the Golden shower part. Over the past few years, I’ve discovered I like them too. I really think it was the beginning of my enjoyment of submission.
    Great post.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Yes, I agree in principle. Life is not always that simple though. My wife changed after her father committed suicide. We had a child by then who needed a father. So I stayed with someone who struggled for years, who really wasn’t interested in intimacy with me any more. Who went to lie on our daughter’s bed whilst she went to sleep for fifteen years, leaving me alone. Who didn’t want to talk and certainly didn’t want to talk about sex.

    I’m a man who did all the right things and I m now alone in a soulless marriage.

    I’m happy that your life turned out the way it did. It’s not always like that though.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m sorry Peter. And I wasn’t trying to suggest a “cure-all” and yet communication is so critical. Your wife (ex?) needed therapy to deal with her grief and move past a truly horrific life experience. Not an easy thing to suggest at all! All the best!


  7. She had therapy. Lots of it. Still does sometimes.It made no difference; she “knew” (knows) she was responsible for her father’s death. She wasn’t. The child still needed a father, more so in fact. Interesting, that sentence can be applied both to my wife and our daughter.

    I’ll stop now. I completely understand that you are not being trite, you are simply reflecting your own experience and that is exactly what is to be expected (and is the prerogative) of any author. Yes, including me.

    I’m genuinely happy for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi. I’m trying to find it. I have a hard copy somewhere but not where I thought it was. Apparently it was in my older computer and the hard drive died. I haven’t paid to have the memory transferred to my new computer. It is on my things to do list. So I hope to be able to help you with it soon!


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