The Pluses and Minuses of Blogging–or Damn, Did I Deserve That?

I think of myself as a new blogger, though when I look at things, I realize I’ve been blogging since last July.  I have met many very nice people–and the beauty of it is that most are kinky.  Their kinks may be totally different from mine, but we learn from each other and share experiences and thoughts–I find it very valuable and sometimes very erotic!  Now I like to participate in those blogs that I follow.  I try to remain positive and upbeat, because the world has enough negativity, and honestly, I tend to be a positive and outgoing person.  I recently had an experience on here that really bothered me–in fact it continues to bother me.  I’ve thought about just trying to let it go and forget about it, but I want to write about it.

Some background:  I have been on this earth for a while–most people are surprised at how old I am as I’m fit and pretty trim, still athletic and I have this youngish persona.  Usually people guess I’m 10-15 years younger than I actually am.  lol  Still I’m actually quite close to retirement.  I have three degrees–including two advanced degrees.  My area of expertise is physiology–exercise physiology to be precise.  I have a reasonable knowledge of the human body and what it is capable of.  I don’t profess to know it all, nor to be always right, but I do know some stuff.

Recently, I commented on a post by someone I follow–my comment was a little tongue-in-cheek, and I used my phone which typically stops me from long comments.  Basically she had stated in her post that men reach their sexual peak in their early 20’s while women hit theirs around 30.  I argued against that.  Now here’s why–biologically those facts may be true, but there is more than biology to sex, sexual appetite, and sexual skills.  While I am monogamous, over my lifetime I have had several partners.  It would seem to me that if you reach a peak, afterwards it’s all down hill.  This may be true biologically, but from experience, I don’t think it’s necessarily true–particularly for females.

What is true is that I can no longer orgasm multiple times in a single session of love making (even if I were allowed…lol)  When I was younger, I might orgasm as many as 8-10 times in a single session of lovemaking.  At that time I was at my biological peak.  I no longer have that ability.  I am past my biological peak!  However, my wife has told me several times in the past year that I’m like a “teenager”–her very words!  She is alluding to my ability to go hard for a long time holding my erection–and not orgasming!  Over the years, I have learned from my various lovers–I have learned techniques that allow me to please my Queen in many different ways.  This has always been a goal of mine–to please my partner as fully and completely as I can.  I’m still as horny–perhaps more so–than I was at 20.  I still think of sex often–very often.  Chastity helps me to have sex first and foremost in my mind.  So while biologically I am past it, the remainder of my sexuality is at least allowing me to “hold my place”–I’m not on any decline yet.

For women, it’s even more of a misnomer.  Every woman I’ve ever been with who is past the age of 30 has found that their desires are richer and more prominent in their lives.  They are more orgasmic and often multi-orgasmic.  My Queen never had an orgasm through sex prior to meeting me.  Self stimulation was the way she had sexual pleasure prior to then.  She did have several sexual partners prior to me, but while she enjoyed the intimacy of sexual contact with them, she never quite made it to “orgasm”.  As she ages, she has become more easily aroused and pleased.  It is not uncommon for her to have 5-10 orgasms in one session of lovemaking!  Several of the women I follow have indicated that they are also more focused on sexual pleasure and more easily able to achieve orgasm even though they are past the age of 30.  They state that sex is getting better and better!  I couldn’t be happier for them.  So again while biologically they may have reached a peak, their sexuality has not started to decline. Rather it has continued to get better.

So I choose to think of those ages of “peak” sexuality as bogus!  It’s my view and I suppose the science doesn’t support my view.  But thinking that my Queen is past it, or that I am past it is a negative thought and I choose to be positive!

So my short comment on this other blog was tongue in cheek when I argued against her position.  Unfortunately, tone is not conveyed when we write.  Someone (a follower of the other blog) read what I wrote and was offended by it–honestly that was a surprise, but perhaps she thought I was slagging women–though that was not even a small seed in my mind.  I was attacked verbally by this person and the virulence and hatred that I felt directed at me was truly upsetting.  I replied politely to this person trying to clarify my position further and received yet another hate filled response.  In it I was told that I had changed my position–and I didn’t think I had.  These two messages have really thrown me for a loop.

I have had to force myself to respond to other people’s blogs.  I have rewritten my response to that post a hundred times.  In the end, I have had to take the following stance.  I don’t know the person who attacked me.  Perhaps she had been having a really bad day.  Perhaps there was something in my response that wasn’t well written–or that was written in such a way that multiple interpretations were possible.  I will be far more careful when I respond to people now.  I actually tried to go to their blog (the attacker’s) to apologize to them, but theirs is a private blog.  Asking permission to access it seemed a bit much to even think of.  I don’t want to follow them, I just wanted to try and clear the air.

I want to thank the actual owner of the blog I follow for her kind words and her apology.  Those two simple messages to me were very much appreciated.  She has removed the virulent messages and I also thank her for that.   Her actions have shown her to be a person of character–and I’m so happy I found her blog.  To the rest of you, I thank you for putting up with my rant here. I do feel better for writing this, but it isn’t my usual subject matter.

Miscellaneous Stuff:  Today marks 153 days since my last orgasm.  Only 213 days to go before I might get to cum (that date, January 7, 2018)!

Tuesday marked the end of my first year of this contract.  It doesn’t expire until the end of January in 2018–and I hope to have it extended long before then.

Monday I took the day off work.  I will be writing about that exceptional day sometime soon!  But I will say that it was a day that furthered my frustration levels!


  1. It is strange how upsetting it is to get into a “blog altercation” isn’t it? I have only had it happen a handful of times but I remember each instance as clear as day, even ones that happened 5 years ago. I’m not sure exactly why that is, but in my case I believe it is because you expect the blogosphere to be filled with people who think, feel, share and listen and those types generally don’t treat people as badly as groups on fetlife or the like.

    In those cases I find myself full of doubt and wondering if I somehow instigated it. Generally speaking the temperature of the room will give some perspective on that and if the blog author apologized to you I think it is safe to say that you were fine and the other party was in the wrong. A private blog might serve as their keyboard courage to sling stones without fear of retaliation.

    I won’t say something as hollow as “don’t let it bother you” because I understand how much it sucks. Leaving blog comments beyond “hey, good post” is an investment of self and it never feels good to have that torn to shreds. That being said, the positive responses make it worthwhile.

    Take care and hopefully that individual will stop being a d-bag if you encounter them in the future. As a side note, I still hold grudges against the rude people I have encountered over the years 🙂

    Take care.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I found your post really interesting in terms of your thoughts about our sexual peaks. I hadn’t thought of it like that before but I also feel far from past it and am having sex that is way better than I ever did in my 20s. I think that Sir would say the same. I’m smiling now as he has recently picked up an injury from such activity so what you say about the biology is quite correct. So much of it is emotional and mental, especially in relationships like the ones we have, that the resulting orgasm is an amalgam of lots of different things.

    I am sorry that you were attacked for your comment. I have seen that happen before once although I have been fortunate not to be the recipient myself. I appreciate all of the comments that you and others leave on my blog. It is always interesting to hear a different view point or perspective and that is why I like writing. Perhaps this other person is not flexible in her thinking which is why she chooses to keep her blog private? Please keep writing and commenting 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You are a very darling fellow and deserve only goodness. i am sorry x i love this funny little kinky world… so many amazing people – please dont let one spoil it –

    think no more about it … and smile and know that you are adored x

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Thanks for sharing. I don’t have nearly as much life experience as you, but I agree with much you wrote. The person I am involved with is several years older than I, and her appetites seem much more intense than the younger girls I knew. I also had difficulty with orgasm when younger, though that seemed to change as I age. Or, it may have had to do with other factors. And, as for stamina, it’s different; I don’t think that I could be as active as I remember at 20, but though a slower pace the energy burns just as long.

    Seems something about the internet invites people to attack what they don’t agree with. Sorry you went through that. I enjoy reading what you say and am amazed at how long you have done it-and still have something to talk about.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks. A year isn’t that long. But it’s a start! lol. I keep a not on my phone with ideas. If something comes to me, I jot it down so I don’t forget it. I couldn’t write everyday.


  5. Iv not come across anything like this yet. But I’m expecting it. I do hope you feel relived for getting it off your chest. I enjoy your posts and comments. You seem wise to me. I’d hate to lose that xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Those unexpected assaults seem to find everyone. It doesn’t surprise me that a skillful communicator like yourself would really struggle with it. You always lift my spirits and give me the benefit of your years of experience and knowledge, I look forward to seeing your name in my notifications! Glad you blogged about it and hopefully eased your mind. Now….about Monday?

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I ma sorry you had such a negative experience, it happens, and I don’t understand why people don’t just ask questions instead of walking off the deep end, but they do, been blogging a long time for year I was a sappy blogger, always putting my late wifey on a pedestal, never speaking negative etc, when she passed, after a year or so, I began to open up about the darker side of our relationship, and someone ripped me a new one in the comments for admitting that it wasn’t always peaches n creams … so I feel your pains, my friend, and I think you handled it with grace and dignity and very kindly, neither of you got butthurt *smiles* I do agree with you that sex gets much better as you age, I will take your word that it is the same for men, I am in my late 40’s my Butch Daddi is 56, it is better now than when I was in my 20’s n 30’s, for all the reasons you stated and then some, I find it is also more emotionally and spiritually satisfying now than back then as well. anyway, Thank you for being you, n thank you for being so open in your blog, I am learning so much about male submission through you, and it is fascinating and amazing to me 🙂 take care and enjoy yourself

    lesli xo

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Oh my, I missed a lot, it seems and that’s only because I don’t know where to get email notifications for your blog posts! But I’m sorry to hear about the blog comment altercation. Happens to the best of us but I’m glad it hasn’t turned you off from blogging and I do love it when you drop by my blog.

    A lot does get lost in the blogosphere and we can only do so much on our end to make things right while maintaining our stand. Keep doing what you’re doing!

    Liked by 2 people

      • Kind of reminds me of an incident where someone commented on a post about me considering wanting for marriage, and this person went off calling men pussys if they waited for marriage and that a real man would not do that, followed by describing what a real man was. That they need to fuck and if they wait for marriage they are weak and not a “real” man. I replied with telling her (guessing), that she is contributing to the social conformity of how men have to be put in this box-aggressive, breadwinner, not allowed to cry or be sensitive. I also replied that anyone who starts off the way she did, tends to follow with some bullshit to say 😊. I don’t think she liked it and I blocked her ass, hehe.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. I’ve never really understood how “sexual peak” is defined when people start in with the statistics. Biologically, being at peak reproduction fitness versus emotionally/psychologically, being at the highest stage of sexual comfort and enjoyment…

    Well. They’re two completely different (and often incompatible) concepts, I think.

    There are ways I ‘peaked’ at 26 and ways I peaked at 37 and ways I’m peaking now; each peak is vastly different, but no “better” than the other(s). It’s about constantly learning and adjusting to your own body and its changes. It’s also about comfort and knowledge – of yourself and your partner – that can only be gained over time.

    Re: Liz’s question about email notifications ~ On your WordPress Reader, go to the Manage tab under “Blogs I Follow” and from there you can turn your email notifications on or off, and choose how often you’d like to receive them (daily, weekly, monthly) on a per-blog basis. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  10. I am probably closer to your age than 30 🙂 and I think this past years was the best our sex life has been… but then I think that every year.
    As for misunderstandings in the written word, I agree completely with you, there is no tone or body language to words. Some people are just basically mean or you’ve hit a nerve with them that would be impossible to know about as you dont know that unanimous reader. I have not had this issue yet with blogging but I have in other areas of life and it always makes me shake my head and wonder how things got misinterpreted.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Those comments really bothered me, but it was the underlying hatred that really bothered me. We had never met, but she had me figured out to a T and I was just garbage to her. Life goes on. I have been more careful since. I really try not to offend people at any time.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s