Last weekend, my wife and I saw an Adam Sandler Movie on Netflix. It was called The Ridiculous Six, and featured a large number of well known actors. Now my Queen and I both like Adam Sandler movies. They often aren’t great cinimatic masterpieces, but they often are funny, silly, and have a nice message. We had never heard of this offering–so I’m guessing it didn’t do that well at the theater. In it, Sandler’s character meets his birth father and decides to rescue him from criminals. To do this he must raise money, and in this journey he encounters others who are also his birth father’s sons. Yes, his birth father spread his seed around fairly liberally. In the end there are six brothers–all misfits and weirdos… The film is definitely silly, but my Queen and I found it humorous. At one point one of the brothers suggests that a real woman is “way better than a cantaloupe!” This comment made my Queen laugh. “We’ll have to see!” she said.
Fast forward to this weekend. We had a great weekend. A little surprisingly, we had it to ourselves. Saturday night we went to the Tom Petty concert. It was a fabulous show, and the night went like clockwork. On Sunday, we did a nice long walk together. We did our grocery shopping together, cooked together, and went to the mall to get some things for my Queen. After we returned home, my Queen decided we should get busy! I was more than ready. And it appeared that my Queen was ready too! We had amazing sex for about two hours. She had orgasm after orgasm. She squirted like crazy and despite my best efforts, I couldn’t drink it all. There was just too much, and my mouth wasn’t always in position anyways… But let me tell you, there was one heck of a large wet spot! Very wet, wet spot!. It was pretty simple sex, my mouth, Angus and the Magic Wand were the only items in play, but different combinations of tools combined with different positions kept my Queen bouncing and squirting. After about 2 hours, she said that was it!. My Queen had had 13 orgasms–some of epic length and intensity! I was approaching the edge myself, and we needed to eat, but then the magic words. “Let’s get the cantaloupe!”
At that moment, I seriously disliked Adam Sandler! lol Really?? You want me to use a cantaloupe??
Downstairs we went and she picked up the cantaloupe she had bought (unknown to me) along with a knife. She decided which end she was going to cut, and then started to cut a circle. It took several tries, but finally, we had a cut hole that was just large enough for Angus. Giggling, my Queen commanded me to move back up to our bathroom. I suggested that she might need to masturbate Angus to keep him hard–I wasn’t that excited about a cantaloupe!…
So my Queen complied. And then she started to fuck Angus with the cantaloupe. I was wearing the zapper, so that she could zap me at her leisure. She picked up the remote and continued to fuck me while zapping me!
The sensations were unique, though–as were the sounds! The sound was squishy, but with the zapps, I added my own sound effect of groans and grunts. Still I wasn’t being excited by the process, so my Queen took the fruit off me, and started to masturbate me with her hand. She took me to the edge and then paused.
Then she took me to the edge again! When she finally stopped I was beyond horny, and so very close! But we all know I’m not allowed to cum, so that was it for me. “Adam Sandler would be amused” she said.
We went down for supper–a very late supper! My mistake: I suggested that a cantaloupe was a bad choice–I said a watermelon would have been better. “Hmmm” she said, “We should try one of those too!”
I think I’m my own worse enemy at times… but maybe she’ll forget or decide not to bother! Did I say I was embarrassed?