It’s been almost a year since I had an orgasm–363 days to be precise! On top of that, because of my recent surgery, I haven’t had the chance of sex in over three weeks. Now sex for me doesn’t involve orgasms for myself, but I have a lot of fun and try to give my Queen as many as I can in whatever time she allows. At the same time, she edges me relentlessly. I’m usually really frustrated at the end of our sessions, but also very satisfied (in a weird sort of way). It’s been over two years since I actually was free to orgasm on my own. This was before we did our first session of chastity. I would masturbate frequently–and my Queen was aware that I did it–though not likely how frequently I did it. Frankly, for masturbation to be really enjoyable, I needed to take my time and build to an orgasm. In effect I had to edge myself until I couldn’t take anymore. Then I would explode! But I was always ashamed of myself. I always tried to hide what I was doing and would only do it if I had privacy. I was guilty or at least felt that way.
My Queen had me collect my ejaculate in the months prior to chastity. She had no ideas about me being in chastity–she knew nothing about it. It was a fantasy of mine. But she was pretty dominant, and she would dominate me on occasion. She found dominating me a lot of work, so it wasn’t 24/7. Still, I enjoyed those times when she exerted herself.
When she told me to collect all my ejaculate every time I orgasmed, I was excited. As you all know, I like it when she exerts her power over me. At that time, it was a sometimes thing! lol So I proceeded to do as she asked. I used shot glasses and would put them into the freezer after each “donation” and allow them to freeze. It got so that everytime I masturbated, I was downstairs near the freezers.
Above are two shot glasses full of my cum! Now frozen cum thaws rapidly. My Queen decided that when I had a sufficient amount built up, that she would make me a sundae–with a cherry on top! My special sauce would take the place of the chocolate or butterscotch sauce.
Then I would eat every drop of this sundae in her presence.
It was my penalty for masturbating. I had several sundaes before I broached the possibility of male chastity with her.
If you have read all my posts, you might recall that in my first chastity contract, I searched for the key and found it. While I didn’t use it, my Queen was very upset when she found this out. I had done it as a joke, but it wasn’t received that way. She was upset that I was wanting to masturbate–and that’s when I realized that masturbation was no longer an acceptable means of self-expression. It had changed and was now an example of cheating.
I haven’t masturbated since before that first chastity contract. Granted, I don’t have a lot of opportunity. I’m caged a great deal of the time–virtually the only time I am not caged is when I’m in Her presence. She will have me masturbate in front of her–as part of her edging me–and not to completion. lol She has also taken to masturbating me with a vibrator! Who knew how effective that would be?? But I am not allowed to touch Angus for any reasons other than washroom duties and cleansing.
Now the reason for this post! Today, I really felt like masturbating. For the first time in a long long time, I felt like pleasuring myself. I haven’t–being caged is a great deterrent–and even if I wasn’t caged, I wouldn’t have done it. I love and respect my Queen too much! However I am surprised at how strongly I felt like doing it. I think it is a sign that I am recovering well and my level of horny is rising exponentially! Still, masturbation is now considered cheating by my Queen. I won’t be doing it–even if uncaged. I don’t want to hurt my Queen. When you love someone, you do everything in your power to treat them well and to avoid hurting them. I love my Queen! Nuff said!!!