collaredmichael

The Casualties–Some That We Come to Like and Then Miss… Blogger Deaths

Blogging is an interesting way to meet people.  We all start to blog for different reasons and indeed we blog about different things.  Still, over time, we find people who blog about similar things or at least things that we find interesting.  We exchange comments. Gradually we establish a relationship! Over time they start to become friends. We share our most intimate thoughts and really become our most vulnerable. We receive support and encouragement. It is remarkable how invested we become in each other’s lives!

And then they disappear! Sometimes they remove their blog and at other times they just stop blogging and disappear! Their blogs remain–silent and inactive–a constant reminder of their former presence. And it’s like losing a dear friend–like a friend went on a trip and then you never see or hear from them again. No way to say good bye. No way to hear them one last time! Just gone!!

Blogging is a neat thing. When I started I hoped that people would read and comment. I hoped that I had something that at least a few people might find interesting, intriguing or even educational! I never expected to make friends. That was the added bonus. And it truly is a bonus!!

But I suppose with any good there is also bad. So I’m calling these blogging friends who disappear “blogger deaths”. In many respects what I feel is similar to what I experience at the loss of a friend. A sadness, and a sense of being abandoned. A knowledge that someone I’ve shared intimately with (if only ideas and my thoughts) is gone and I will likely not hear from them again. This is the painful side of blogging.

23 comments

  1. I really didn’t expect to make “friends” either when I started blogging. But, now there are folks out there that I care about…whose blogs I frequent hoping to read an update on their lives & relationships. Blogging is a much bigger world than I initially thought and it has become much more meaningful to me than I thought it would. Great post, michael!

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  2. I know what you mean. I will “go silent” at times, especially when my world is overwhelming. I use my blog to vent when I can’t talk to others IRL. When I get married, my blogs will go silent, though. My boyfriend does not know about the blog, and I don’t want him to read it. This is MY part of me, and I want to keep it in my own heart. But if I continue after marriage,t hen it becomes a secret, and I don’t think I should keep that as a secret. I will tell him about the blogs I wrote in, and he will not understand, and that’s ok.
    I do plan a goodbye though.

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    • A good bye does make a difference. Best of luck with your marriage. Might I suggest you keep the blog and merely (after says no your goodbyes) leave a note suggesting you may someday be back! Who knows, your husband may come to know about and even approve of your blog.

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  4. If you ever went silent I think I would cry. I have been telling Heff about your blog the last few weeks. I cannot let him read them because I do not want him to know about my blogs as I am worried he would see my comments and find my writings. I have not wrote in a while due to being overwhelmed. (so I guess I felt a bit of guilt reading this LOL) I hope to get back on soon. I am actually thinking about creating a 2nd blog as the last month has been more surprises which I would love to write about but do not want people that know me personally to know about so… we shall see. Keep the writings coming friend!

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    • I’m glad to hear you are well. And while you haven’t been as “present”, you have been around. Still nice to hear from you as always. I thought you were going through some things and hoped you would be back sometime soon. Start another blog—just make sure you let me know where and when it is. lol. Wouldn’t hurt to let me know who you are as well. 😜

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  5. I never expected to make such wonderful friends here either. I started blogging back in the day on Diary-X oh boy 19 years ago then Tumblr, never made friends at either but here… everyone is so supportive and you always leave comments Michael, hugs. 😀

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    • I think it’s important to let people know you’ve read their post. So I leave a comment unless I am super busy or can’t figure out something to respond with. It’s a small thing, but I hope it helps validate the writer.

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  7. So true. The dead blog syndrome. It seems that people just run out of things to write about, or life changes and they are too busy to update a blog. I started out just using it as a journal, didn’t know about comments and getting to “know” other bloggers.
    My wife knows that I post on line, but has never seen my blog. She is very worried about being outed and really does not want me to be posting about my personal life. I have found a great community here of people who, maybe very secretively, are into things that I am into. This certainly helps me to feel like I am not the only one and gives me someone to communicate with about things that I can not talk to anyone else in my life about, not even my wife.
    I love to hear about how other people’s journey is going, even if I am sometimes very envious and I may be learning too much about things I would never have known about and craved otherwise.

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  8. I hope you don’t disappear because I enjoy reading your posts a lot even though I sometimes don’t comment. Somehow I’m logged out of my Safari browser on my phone and for the life of me, I can’t remember my password lol But I’ve deleted a lot of blogs in the past and looking back, it’s kinda sad because it represented parts of me that I wanted to share with people and most of all, remember. And of course, now I don’t. I keep my poetry blog up even though I don’t write poetry as much as I used to but I’ve documented certain passings through poetry and sometimes I look back just to see how I felt then or just to remember the date. When I started publishing, I stopped blogging because I didn’t want people to think I was “blogging” only to sell my books. After almost two years of that, I figured, what the heck, I need to blog again. After all, I’ve been blogging before it was called blogging (Geocities, anyone?) And so I’m glad to have found you and so many other people. I just wish I were as daring with my writings on my Liz blog as I’d like, like posting my smut but eh, there’s this thing called branding lol

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  9. I’ve been doing this for six years. A “long lifespan” in terms of blogging longevity is actually considered to be six months. I’ve seen waves of people come and go. The first time a “die-off” happened, it was sad for me. Now, I’m used to it.

    Most of the folks who started blogging around the same time as me – those who were in my cohort group – are long gone. New folks continue to come along. It’s a microcosm of life, I suppose. A blogging life cycle.

    As a general rule, I’ve found that the folks who own their url are a lot more committed/reliable than those who go through WP or Blogger. The author(s) of “suchandsuch.com” paid good money for their space; if they’ve invested money, they’re more likely to (continue to) invest time. 🙂

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