The Fantasy: Requirements for a Male in a Chastity Cage—or Can We Be Real Here?

In earlier posts, I’ve talked about how we started down this path. How despite my fears of being refused, I asked my Queen to cage me and control our sex life. How later I asked that she become the lead in our life–putting us into an FLR! Over time our FLR relationship has grown and developed! But it is based in reality. We have jobs to go to. We own a home and need to maintain it. We have children–though some are out on their own. We have family we support and interact with. The point being, we have full lives we engage in every day! So while I’m living as a caged male every day, sex and our FLR are not always first and foremost in my mind! Honestly the cage is pretty comfortable most of the time. So I sometimes forget about its presence.

And yet the fantasy of the caged male persists. In general I think it’s fair to say many men ask for this way of living and then push their “key holder” to do things to fit their fantasy of being caged! While I know some women really like caging their males, I think it is an acquired taste for most. And I would guess a great deal of the women who cage their males do it solely because they love them and want to please them.

There is nothing wrong with that. But some males want a specific whole fantasy. There are different types of male chastity fantasies. Some fantasies involve feminization of the male. Some involve never having sex again. Others suggest the male will do anything to “get off”–including all the housework (in addition to their day jobs) and turning over all their money and property to their key holder. Some involve being cuckolded. The fantasy really can cover almost anything as there are so many people and likely no two have the exact same fantasies.

Still these fantasies are usually why the man has asked his wife to cage him. They want their wives to live the fantasy exactly as they imagine it. This doesn’t take into account the fact that their wives may not have any of these fantasies or indeed may have totally different fantasies!

So now the wife is responsible for caging a man and controlling any sex they get along with making the man’s fantasies come true. And she may very well hate the fantasies! How can this work for a long time? In reality it can’t.

I think couples who are successfully living this lifestyle have moved slowly (progressively) taking into consideration both spouses’ needs. A lot of communication and honesty fuel the progression. Both people need to have their wants and desires respected.

I am living my dream. Are things perfect? No. I would like to be teased more frequently and I’m sure there are things my Queen would love me to do more of. But we are getting better at what we do. She is getting better at telling me to do certain things that she wants me to do. She is getting better at generating rules. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere or with anyone else. I try and follow my Queen’s rules. I try and do whatever she asks of me when she asks as well as to the best of my abilities. How we live works for us. But under no circumstances would I ever suggest ours is the only and “right” way of living this life. Some couples love the feminization aspect while other love the cuckold or hot wife lifestyle. Whatever works without hurting anyone is a good thing. But in the meantime, I’m happy as a pig in s@&t!!😜


  1. Thanks for sharing this 😊 it’s true for any alternative relationship I think, that the person who initiates it has a mental image of how they see the relationship progressing. The reality can be a million miles from that fantasy because as you say it doesn’t take into account the other persons take…

    Great that you’re happy as a pig in poo!

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  2. I do my things based on several things, first of all: everyone who knows me can confess that Im extreamly bossy.. second is that I know my hubby have fetishes.. in the beginning I did things to please these fetishes even if I did not like it in the beginning, but these days I benefit from it. I have lovers, they please me, my husband please me.. and best of all, I can be the boss that Im. And no, my husband is not a steriotype of a sub with a small dick.. and he is good with economy, numbers, job, high education.. he is not a loser who need guidance in everything.. That said I need to be the boss. In other words I dont define myself as superior, but a domina who like a given behaviour from my husband.

    Reality check.. over the past years we have gone back to vanilla now and then.. but once he cum he is off.. not interest.. dont look at me.. And I know what a look is.. e.g. if he have been caged for one month and I go fuck someone and then put on tights and deliberatly show my camel toe the next day in public he is ON ON ON.. Best weapon a woman have is a man’s fetishes.. I use them to make him behave as I want, and to live life how I want. I dont think its possible for me or my husband to go back to “normal”.

    And yes, I love my husband, and yes perhaps I did things in the beginning out of love that was not natural.. but over the time I really started to love playing with him.. and what did I get in return: he behave better, he do more house work… I have a fantastic sex life.. we almost dont argue anymore.. he also understand my wantings better. And happy mistress is = happy man. 🙂 I think all women should put a cage on their husbands and listen and use his fetishes for the better… 🙂

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  3. Great post, michael! What I love about this is how you touch on moving into it slowly and understanding that just because you want something, doesn’t mean it is what your partner wants. I have talked to so many subs who get frustrated right off the bat because their husbands can’t (or haven’t learned to want to) dominate them how they are dreaming of. I think that just like a marriage, D/s takes time to build a strong foundation. In any case, great post!!! I love that you are living your dream 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Interesting, and accurate summary. My mind is always running sex scenarios. My wife is the opposite. She does not mind me bringing things up or talking about what I like and would like to try. As long as she is not strictly against it we will try it. At that point I let it go (at least for a few months 🙂 ) if she likes it and keeps dining it, great. If not, I’m searching for the next thing to try. I dont want to push her to do anything. We’ve been together too long and I know that just builds resentment in her.

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