Celibacy versus Chastity—Is There a Difference? Well For Me—Most Definitely!!

So if you’ve read a few posts of this blog, you know that for over three years now, I’ve been in a Mature Metal Jailbird cage! I’m out only when my Queen decides and usually only because she wants easy access! I wear it to work and out and about without a key or access to one. To access a key, I must return home or have my Queen bring one to me.

Further to that, we live an FLR lifestyle–with added domestic discipline! In common parlance, I’m living the male chastity lifestyle. So obviously I am always very horny and I’m willing to do anything (ANYTHING!!) to be granted an orgasm!!

Well I am pretty well always horny! And I love to do things for my Queen and will do almost anything for her (within reason). But even after she grants me an orgasm I want to do things for her. I just love to make her happy and her life easier. It’s how I’m wired. However unlike the fantasy, I wouldn’t do anything for an orgasm! I would have limits. Now unlike many men in this lifestyle, my orgasms are few and far between. I’m currently at 121 Days since my last orgasm! And who knows when my Queen will decide I will cum again. She has talked about a wait of a year or more–and the last time she spoke this way I went 485 days. I do get hornier and hornier as the time increases and she does like me horny so I’m just going to enjoy the ride!

At any rate that got me thinking. Many people equate chastity with celibacy and they really aren’t the same–at least to us!! I seldom orgasm but I do have sex all the time! My Queen loves Angus to penetrate her Kitty regularly. She often allows me to use my mouth on Kitty too. And then there are our toys which get a regular workout–usually with my assistance. So I have a lot of sex. I am often brought to the edge of cumming multiple times when we have sex. Sometimes (often) I have to fight my own orgasms with all my being! My toes will curl as I do everything in my power to obey my Queen and avoid orgasm. Despite my burgeoning punishment number, I do try and obey her always.

So for us, chastity is related to orgasms and the denial of same. Celibacy would mean no sexual activity of any kind–we would include masturbation in that list of activities! So I am in chastity but I am not celibate. And this works for us!!

Today my Queen was frisky and we had some surprising alone time. She fed me a couple of glasses of her golden nectar and then we had some fantastic sex. I was allowed to use my mouth and penetrate Kitty with Angus. We used a couple of toys! Angus was left hard and I was frustrated but my Queen was satisfied and that is where she wanted it to stop. So I recaged and then cleaned the house after driving my beloved to work. It was lovely but I am so horny!! lol

So today, I was in chastity but I definitely wasn’t celibate! 😜


  1. Sounds like a perfect FLR/Femdom relationship to me. But I knew how much in tune the two of you are, you are a real inspiration.

    In some ways my Wife and I are in a similar situation, but we are not so advanced. I agree, celibacy and chastity are very different. I have orgasms snd vaginal sex severely restricted although I am not caged (and I don’t cheat although I am sorely tempted many times, I guess a serial masturbator can never be cured, only controlled). Yet we do have a lot of sex, but only when my Wife desires it and in the way She wants it. Sex and Her pleasure became synonyms and I paradoxically derive extreme pleasure from providing it. Sometimes I get so fucking close to my own orgasm from bringing Her to and from witnessing Her climax. I hope it will happen once.

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  2. I don’t know how you do it, I have trouble going a month without a mistake and a ruined orgasm. The joy of going for more than a year is hard to imagine. We practice chastity, but without a cage. Being celibate would not work for us.

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  3. I’m reading more and more about chastity, and with every bit I’m beginning to understand it more. And still, there seem so many paradoxes that are different from a D/s relationship. I’m still learning, so please keep writing about it. Thanks!

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  4. Great post, Michael – thanks for sharing! I guess I’d always thought of chastity as an all or nothing kind of thing, but I love your Queen’s approach. Unlocking you so as to serve her needs, but still not allowing you orgasm, so chaste in spirit even if temporarily unlocked. I think that may be the example or the inspiration my Goddess needs to upgrade our equipment. Definitely sharing this with her tonight.

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    • Carly is onto something; for me, forced and long abstinence from orgasm and/or some specific sexual activity (vaginal sex in my case) can drive me crazy with lust, there are times when it is a challenge to stay focused on other important things when all I can think of is my Wife’s pussy and sex with Her. When I am like that I don’t even notice other sexy Women around me anymore. Well, I do notice them sexually, but my fantasies switch to my Wife almost instantly, the effect is that I crave to be with my Wife (not them) even more. It is wonderful to be so pussy-whipped by a single Woman 😂.

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  5. I am in the same boat… lots of sex but not many orgasms. I’m not on your level but it appears I may only get five more this year. That would average 2 per month.
    I struggle a lot with holding back during sex and feel I cannot last or preform in the best interests of my wife – but she says I’m fine. Somehow I have to get her to see the other side of the looking glass.

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  6. This is still an area that I would be interested to experiment with. Maybe not chastity as in being locked in some way, but certainly orgasm denial and control. I don’t know anyone who takes it as far as you do but I am intrigued by the way that it works. Great post 😊

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